I never, ever tell the truth to people doing surveys. Why should they find out what washing powder I use, or whether I wear wool next to the skin? That’s private. I hate it most when they ask me about my political views. So I lie. I think most people are like me - when you see all those fancy graphs and predictions on the telly, it’s all false. Utter nonsense. You can’t trust what people say, because they all have different reasons for lying. I’ve got a few.
It even says it in the Bible ‘...all men are liars.’ Psalm 116. David wrote that, and he should know.
When you think about it, it also says in the Bible that God made man in His own image. So, if He did, and all men are liars, it follows that God must be a liar too. Are you with me? All those things He told His prophets - lies, the lot of it. When he called Moses up that mountain to give him the Commandments, they weren’t true. What God really meant was, ‘Do covet your neighbour’s ass. Do commit adultery. Do murder.’ When I worked that out, everything fitted.
Of course, I’m not going to spread that information about. I’ve only told one person. I wanted her to know why.
She really shouldn’t have argued.
FlashFlood is brought to you by National Flash-Fiction Day UK, happening this year on 27th June 2015.
In the build up to the day we have now launched our Micro-Fiction Competition (stories up to 100 words) and also our annual Anthology (stories up to 500 words). So if you have enjoyed FlashFlood, why not send us your stories?
More information about these and the Day itself available at nationalflashfictionday.co.uk. 
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