Friday 17 April 2015

'You're Deluded or I'm Confused...' by Stephen Oram

Yesterday afternoon was one of those sparkly afternoons and someone told me that the Heath was a pleasant place to get away from it all. There was a sprinkling of water on the grass and a fresh wind cutting across the lakes. It felt good. I was walking along by the side of a wood admiring the lumps and bumps of the ancient trees. The rich smell of the soil and the moss hung in the air. I turned the corner and there were six couples walking along the paths that criss-crossed the green space in front of me.
I sat and watched.
Each couple was made up of one upper-class being and one middle-class being and it was the middle-class beings, the so-called pets, that were running around, leading the way. Every now and again their companion would re-assert control by calling them back with morsels of food. And then I noticed something that blew my mind.
The middle-class beings were shitting wherever they wanted and their upper-class followers were scurrying around to pick it up as quickly as they could, congratulating them by saying, ‘Good boy!’
I thought your class structure was pathetic and you were deluded, but now I’m not so sure.
Did I stumble across a weird fetish group on the Heath – an aberration – or is your universe more complicated than it first appears?

previously published at

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  1. Haha! You're making a good point there, I reckon. ;-)

    1. Glad you liked it... always strikes me as funny when I'm walking on the heath

  2. That's so funny - we were just talking to the kids about this. About how folks in Asia must think Brits are insane to have dogs as pets instead of treating them as animals & a source of food - & weirder still, be cleaning up their muck! Which is so subservient...then having to explain what subservient meant!!
    More please! Nx

    1. excellent... hopefully they'll grow up to see the world a little sideways too

    2. it sounds as if your kids will grow up to have a healthy sideways view of the world, but maybe no pets?... If you want some more then take a look at the flash fiction on my website.


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