The only reason we even went to the football game was to sell pills and before you say anything, we got them from our parents so they were safe. How else would we raise enough money to get out?
Our plan was to skip graduation and take the bus to NYC. We would live on St. Mark's place over the Gem Spa. We would dye our hair and write poetry. We would never come back to Nebraska.
The first time I saw Pete under the bleachers he looked like a spaceman in his silver helmet. Seeing his mouth trapped in that little cage made me want to kiss it. You know how when you’re driving and you shift into reverse and grind the gears? Looking at him felt like that. He really was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, even the scars. Especially the scars.
When he told me they weren’t from football, but from his father, a plan started growing in my head. I would borrow Mom’s van. I would park it across from Pete's house after midnight. I would watch his father through the picture window, sleeping off too many Coors in his plaid recliner.
And I would drive that Odyssey full speed through the vinyl siding into the living room.
When I first told Ellie my plan we were eating chips on the bridge and she agreed it was romantic but also it wouldn’t make Pete love me. Pete was popular, remember?
I didn’t care, I said. I loved him.
The night before it happened I went to Pete's bedroom window and we kissed for real. He held my face in his hands. There was nothing that could stop me after that, and nothing did.
DJ Wolfinsohn’s first published work was a riot grrrl ‘zine. After a decade as a Texas newspaper reporter and a stint as a radio DJ, she began writing fiction & poetry. Her work can be found in HAD, Vestal Review, Variant Lit, & Witchcraft Mag. She lives in Austin with her family. on x @debbywolfinsohn
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