there was a time i wanted to be invincible; far too strong to be hurt, but outside the trees were glowing spring and the sun was golden too. i stared at the total eclipse with naked eyes, and i was burned. but nature is far too kind. soon, the scaly skin fell off with a thud and i emerged a new, softer person. i sang with the birds and waved at passersby. i stopped at the ice-cream truck and bought myself a lemon ice. i licked the run-off from my elbow all the way to my wrist.
a flash of life in my eyes.
i was surprised to see that life wasn’t much of a chore. i enjoyed summer as much as i did spring. i loved winter and the muddy slush that came with it. i discovered it was much easier to live when life and i are on the same side. i was overcome by the delicious sting of ambition; and i craved, and craved, and craved. it was maddening in its eroticism. it—the ambition, i mean—was something i wanted to possess, to consume, to keep safe in my belly. i realised what this meant—i wanted to live!
i realised i was ravenous for home. hungry, hungry, hungry. salivating, even. the last few yards i ran.
home.
a smile plays on my lips now; the siren call of the scent that hits you when you’ve been away for long. i sit in the old grandfather chair and watch the world passing by. i am strong, but not invincible. i’ve been hurt, but i’m still vulnerable. i’ve loved, and i love now. i have nothing to be brave for.
Yashaswini Sharma is a writer, filmmaker, photographer, and artist currently based in Lithuania. She loves art that isn't afraid to investigate relationships with oneself, others, and the universe. She is working on a contemporary novel, a couple of essays, and a script for a short film. You can find and keep up with her on Instagram: @pagesinshots, or X: @yashaswinx. She also writes a Substack, 'On the Outside, Looking In.' Come say hi!
Just beautiful ♥️
ReplyDeletethank you so much!!! <3
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