Debut Flash: 'Driving Love Away' by Gillian Holland

I’d never believed in love at first sight, but without warning it happened, and for five years we were inseparable. Inevitable, I suppose, that such closeness would diminish.

I can still pinpoint the moment he stopped reaching for my hand. By then we were both busy with life. I knew the relationship had to evolve, and hung on to the certainty that he loved me.

As time passed, I stood back when other interests took his attention, concerned myself with work and the house. He was often out, but always came home. Occasionally I heard myself asking questions he didn’t want to answer, told myself to stop, and instead of pushing it, laid awake, listening for the door, feigning sleep when he finally crept up the stairs.  

When he began staying out overnight, I confided in a friend who declared I was overreacting. He was one of the good guys, she said, wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. But I persisted in worrying. He’d glance at me with disdain, and say I was giving him that look. He caught me checking his phone, and grabbed it from my hand. We called a truce, and things improved, but I knew he was getting ready to move on.

Today the moment I dreaded has arrived.

He’s packed his bags.

I don’t want to let him go.

I watch over my shoulder as he quietly loads the car, closing the boot with a determined finality, and try not to think about the chasm he’s leaving behind.

Then he climbs in beside me, and says “I love you, Mum.”

I check the mirror, and we set off in search of his student digs.

 

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Gillian Holland’s narratives focus on family ties, the way they bind, how they sometimes strangle. Having studied for an MA in Creative Writing in London, she returned to her native Midlands, which often provides the backdrop to her stories.  She now lives, writes, and reads in a small village in the National Forest, from where she still occasionally stalks her adult children via WhatsApp, just to make sure they got home safely. (They pretend not to know). Once a clandestine short story scribbler, Gillian is now working on her first novel. She can be reached by email at happygillholland at gmail dot com.