1. Preparing for a marathon, even a walking one, takes a ridiculous amount of time.
2. New trainers never quite fit, but good socks help.
3. The best kind of training includes stopping off for an egg sandwich.
4. I can never resist a bookshop though I have to carry my purchase ten miles home.
5. However far I walk, I still miss you.
6. A Wonderbra is a hellish thing to embroider.
7. Using a glue gun sometimes works.
8. Everything falls off, of course.
9. Ostrich feathers appear everywhere.
10. However far I walk, I still miss you.
11. Walkers at the start line form a sea of pink.
12. Warming up to Dancing Queen is irresistible.
13. Setting off at feels like launching from the edge of the world.
14. Middle-aged women get honked at by taxi drivers.
15. Women who advised using Tena pads had the right idea.
16. Battersea Bridge is gorgeous at sunrise.
17. Wearing fishnet stockings is a terrible choice.
18. When the half-marathoners turn off, confidence ebbs away.
19. The whole thing is a mistake.
20. However far I walk, I still miss you.
21. The steps up to Tower Bridge are agonisingly steep.
22. Blisters can have blisters of their own.
23. The final yards feel like miles.
24. Seeing the finish line makes me cry.
25. A taxi home isn’t extravagant when you’re dead on your feet.
26. However far I walk, I’ll still miss you. Always.