It all starts with a clean, blank slate, where nothing remains for long. A familiar face, a friendly smile, a warm embrace, then pain here, or there, some kind of pain, but she forgets, and that tiny little region in her brain that looks like a seahorse, made to preserve the past, grows bigger and bigger, until she grows old enough to remember.
She remembers the colors, blue flowers, green meadows, and mom pulling her in the bathtub, scrubbing all dirt away, covers her with a towel, mom singing to her, a sweet lullaby, that she still remembers.
She remembers that tune, they danced and danced to the end of love, but the end isn’t here because she’s here, her daughter pointing at photos, she follows her glance, and she lifts her hands, to catch hovering flowers, lingering moments, before they fade, and she collects them, piece by piece, petal by petal, leaf by leaf, places them back where they belong, and she keeps the bouquet, the joy, the love, while she remembers.
She remembers the smell, the sweet, spicy smell that takes her back, back when they danced on Christmas, before the lights went out, before time stopped and stole everything, the agony on his face before he fell down, the life leaving his eyes, his body still, the end of a love that she still remembers.
Until she doesn’t. Moments are gone, flowers wither, only emotions remain, and now she is running, but those hands won’t let her, grasping her shoulders, keeping her down, the fog surrounding her, the seahorse shrinking and shrinking and shrinking and nothing is stored, oh, the sweet relief of letting go, as it all ends like it all started, with a clean, blank slate, where nothing remains for long, and nothing hurts.
Mileva Anastasiadou is a neurologist, from Athens, Greece and the author of We Fade With Time by Alien Buddha Press. A Pushcart, Best of the Net, Best Microfiction and Best Small Fictions nominated writer, her work can be found or is forthcoming in many journals, such as the Chestnut Review, New World Writing, Best Microfiction Anthology 2024, Cotton Xenomorph, and others.
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