'Spam-Love' by J. A. Sutherland

Hey Adriana,

Thanks for the nice email. Sorry ur laptop is garbage and keeps freezing. I see your spell-checks rubbish too, but I’ll let you off.  Soz I deleted you from facebook, to be honest, not sure I remember a friend, Adriana from Ukraine.  Funny, I had emails from Toksana, like you, she’d been chatting on facebook, and – can you believe it – split with her bf round the same time.  I’m glad that youre both moving effing near – maybes you can comfort each other while your looking.  Oh – but I see Im the only person you know, apart from couzins, I’m thinking you and Toskana are?  Small world!

Cant recall chats on facebook, but I must of. Else I wouldn’t given you my addy. I said you were cute? I’m such a tease, you must be a tease as well, cos I remember someone say I was cute, thats why I’m not on facebook anymore. Too much cuteness. Anyways, we better do some chat 1st if U want 2 meet. Not sure I can help move your SHIT tho, it might be tricky to show you round, for a while.

Your kitty’s called BOO – sexy name!  Love it that you’re Virgo – my fave star-sign. Don’t believe in all that rubbish, I just like to be who I am. Don’t be scared 2 move. When we can meet we’ll do all the usual stuff.  Do you travel much? I won’t be for a while, but Ukraine, is it far. Not got out much lately, my mate sends these emails, I can’t get on the computer. I’ll get him to move you from junk – don’t know how you got there.

 Oh – lost my mob, so we can’t chat yet, I’ll let know when we can.  If your too horny, you’d better hold out, babe!  Don’t have hook-ups about work, lots of hang-ups tho – lol!  Might work from home too, but not doing anything much right now.  Working in bars sounds nice.  You can spend too long in front bars – and behind them, lol. Will you love on your own?  Oops, live on your own!  Or maybe your loving solo atm, if you know what I mean. Me too since you ask if I’m still single. Yeah, guess so.

 Got my own place now, bit stuffy, but when i get out of here I’ll have a better flat than before.  I’ll get my mate to send this so you can email back. If he sends all your email – I only got one page, I’m sure you had more to say.  You could set up your computer in my flat, no, hold on, that might not work.  Youw’ll need internet, I can be so dumb sometimes.  Pleeeze write again tho, and just one last thing, you said you wre 23 and I know most girls say five years older than thay are. You deffo 18, tho, right? Just checkin – don’t want to get into more trouble!

Reagards,
Pete.