'Ciroc' by Lindsay Heighes

Drunk, Matt rolled off me and tried to place his feet on the floor. He must have gotten up too fast because he fell to his knees in front of my nightstand. It almost looked like he was praying to the six chamber bong we called Benjamin. I rolled across the bed to make sure he was going to be okay. I rubbed the side of his arm.

“Come back to bed,” I said.

He pushed my hand away and grunted.

“Leave me alone.”

I watched him hang his head and continue on with his prayers to the Weed Gods.

I rolled back and pulled the covers over my body. I could hear rain begin to fall outside the window directly behind my bed. As I closed my eyes, I listened to the soothing sounds and drifted off into a place of warm sheets and dreams. I laid there quietly listening and waiting for Matt to crawl into bed next to me when the smell hit my nose. I rolled back over towards Matt to see that it was not rain coming down. Matt was sitting in his praying position, zipper down, pissing all over my carpet. I smacked him in the arm and he jumped and sprayed his urine all over the headphones, peanut butter and books on my nightstand.

"Matt! Go to the bathroom for fucks sake."

Matt stood up and fumbled his way into the bathroom. I laid there for a second trying to decide what to do. I was too tired and drunk to clean it up. I pulled the window open and lit a candle to mask the smell of piss.

When Matt finally emerged from the bathroom he plopped down next to me. I closed my eyes and prayed he would fall asleep. Five minutes later I thought I was in the clear when he crawled on top of me again and started kissing my neck. I didn't have the strength to fight him off, plus I didn't finish the first time. I flipped him over to climb on top and give him a break. I just began to really get into it and arch my back when he suddenly pushed me back and ran for the bathroom. He didn't make it there of course. Matt threw up right next to my bookshelf, and had no shame doing so.

I stood up and crossed the room. Any other night I would argue with him and tell him how much of a worthless piece of shit he was, but tonight I just rubbed his back and told him it was all going to be okay. Alcohol was his escape and sex was mine. Right then we both needed each other to just understand. No judgments, no screaming, just acceptance. I pulled him back to bed and did something I didn’t usually do. I let Matt put his arms around me and feel somebody being there for him.