'Her Laughter' by Karen Jones

The man in the moon touched my hand last night. Not touching like the man at the bus stop when I was thirteen, coming home from a school disco. I wore flared trousers and a patterned tabard over a white, nylon polo neck. The man at the bus stop said, “Are you not too young to be out at this time of night?” It was only 9.30. He put his hand on my bum. “Give’s a wee feel at your arse, hen.” His whisky breath flamed a fire between us. I could feel my eyes widen; my voice caught somewhere in neck of my sweater. My friend gripped my hand and we ran, laughing, to the next bus stop. She laughed the most. Then she grabbed my bum and laughed more. I held my breath.

The man in the moon whispered his icy love in my ear. Not whispers like the bus conductor when I was fifteen. I wore high-waisted trousers and a Simon shirt. Everyone fancied the bus conductor because he looked like David Cassidy. He stared at me and my pal – mainly at her – shoved his face close to ours and whispered, “Get on this bus and I’ll fucking shag you both.” The air whooshed out of us, like deflating party balloons. We linked arms and ran to find another bus, laughing. My friend laughed the most. She looked back at the bus conductor and winked, looked at me and sighed. I felt sick.

The man in the moon stroked my hair, my cheek, my collarbone with his long, cold fingers. Nothing like the boy at the party when I was seventeen. I wore a satin harem suit. The boy tasted of pickled onion crisps and cider, pulled and tugged at my bra while I fought him off, and he groaned when he stuck his tongue in my mouth and pushed me down onto the bed where all the coats were piled like a fat, dead body. My body next to my pal's body, and the body on top of her, and she groaned the most, with her eyes open the whole time, looking at me. I closed my eyes tight.

The man in the moon traced my lips with his tongue, his mint breath blued my face. I reached for him, climbing cloud steps, gripping ghost rails, gulping glacial air. Almost, almost there. He took me, then dipped below the clouds. I watched him disappear and knew his kind would never be right for me.