Tesco Metro at half-eight wasn't where I expected to find Oscar Wilde. Yet there he stood, fresh-faced and frizzy-haired, an unexpected icon in the bagging area. Rather than velvet jacket, knee breeches and cane, he sported a crumpled blazer, poorly-tied tie and Fila rucksack. Then again, which of us doesn't struggle in the morning?
Evidently relishing his new-found immaturity, Oscar LOL-ed as his colleague - Bosie, I presume - turned up the volume of the self-service machine. Most of the pair's doughnuts had disappeared before they reached the automatic door. Near the exit, I noticed Oscar pause to take in the heading on the whiteboard:
Did You Find The Products You Wanted In Store Today?
Handwritten suggestions from the Great British public ranged from the forcefully-inked (British apples) to the fading (maple syrup pancakes) to the faint (satay something). Oscar pulled the aged marker from its Blu-Tack grip, added his twopenn'orth and strode out to rejoin Bosie.
Perhaps he'd struggled to locate any sandalwood cologne or Trafalgar shaving cream? After all, I know from personal experience that this branch can't seem to maintain an adequate stock of Head & Shoulders.
Confident that Oscar had left the building, I sidled over to view the great man's words:
NEW PEN
I wish I had written that.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2024 Wigleaf Longlisting
Huge congratulations to Lisa Alletson whose 2024 FlashFlood piece, ' Translucent ' made the Wigleaf Top 50 longlist! You can read th...
-
I know it is Sunday morning because the paper lands on the driveway with a louder thud, masala chai whispers underneath the door, and the so...
-
We are delighted to nominate the following 2023 FlashFlood stories to the Best Small Fictions Anthology: ' I Once Swallowed a Rollercoas...
-
We are delighted to nominate the following FlashFlood stories to the 2023 Pushcart Prize: ' The Doll House ' by Nathan Alling Long &...
That is just so damned ace. As the saying goes: I wish I had written that.
ReplyDeleteLove it! Especially 'an unexpected icon in the bagging area' ...
ReplyDeleteAngi & Sal -- bless the pair of you!
ReplyDelete