there’s a gnome here. i tell you because on your profile you noted you liked gnomes and gardens but not butterflies. you said they’re too pretty, and you’re more like a moth. but you did not specify which moth and I’m curious if you feel more barberry carpet or frosted orange, or perhaps another of a thousand I won’t list, like my reasons for liking your profile. but if perhaps you are more maiden’s blush than wild lichen button or monochromatic orchard ermine, and too shy to respond, please know i’m more like a moth too, but not in the way a moth is in love with arson, but in that i feel in need of dusting. as if someone should tend my miniscule wings like a bonsai garden. anyway, there is a gnome for sale, with a blue hat like the one in your profile, and I plan to sit here until closing, knowing even if you don’t respond, i will buy the gnome and come away with something.
Emily Garland is a queer, Canadian writer who keeps tricking herself into thinking she has the attention span to write novels. She is forever looking for the next best chocolate chip cookie.
This is fabulous.
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