Debut Flash: 'Don't write about the ceiling fan' by Anya Rosensteel

It's cliché. It's the only thing you see as you lie in  bed—that and the window. You can write about the window, and the squirrel that chastises you every morning because you have the audacity to live on a second floor. But don't write about the ceiling fan and the shadows it creates in the afternoon. The squirrel breaks your pots. It also sees you naked. Do you remember Apocalypse Now? Blades churning hot stagnant air. Of course you do. It's the ceiling fan. You've tried posting flyers — "Stop feeding the squirrel!" — complete with an FAQ about how squirrels are trash beasts that ruin the ecosystem and your life. "Q: Did you know squirrels eat baby birds? A: Yes, they are monsters in fur suits." But you still find half-buried peanut shells. Peanuts that DO NOT GROW HERE. When people read about your ceiling fan they will only think of better ceiling fans, more poetic ceiling fans. Stick with the squirrel. That fucking squirrel.

 

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Anya Rosensteel is an artist living in Santa Monica, CA.