- Remove his voice from the answering machine. Don’t listen to it a dozen times before you do.
- Delete all texts. Do it fast before you change your mind.
- Shower. Daily. Use the nice shower gel Mum gave you. Don’t save it for the best time. Now is the best time.
- Deploy chocolate as required. Diet later. Diet never.
- Call your friends back. No, really, do it. If you don’t they will appear on your doorstep and annoy the neighbours with their incessant bell ringing.
- Breathe. Preferably outside. Even better, in the park watching dogs chase sticks with single minded joy and devotion.
- Cook. Let Hello Fresh deliver everything you need and enjoy assembling it all. Smell the tang of fresh limes and earthy parsley. Savour every mouthful.
- Delete Adele’s ‘Hello’ from your playlist, replace with Born Slippy and pogo around the living room. Let it pull you back into your own life.
- Absolutely do not stalk her on FaceBook, Twitter, Instagram or any of the endless ways to torture yourself with the woman he left you for.
- Never think that his choice defines you in any way. Hold tight to this fact, tighter than Kate Winslet ever did to that wardrobe door.
- Do not fall into internet rabbit holes about weight distribution on floating bits of wood and how Leonardo could totally have fit on that door beside her.
- In fact, avoid the internet altogether for now. It’s not going anywhere, but you will be, if you let yourself.
- Lean on the people that love you. They will like that.
- Lean on yourself. You can take the weight even if you think you can’t.
- Remember that phoenixes can be human too.
Saturday, 26 June 2021
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