'The Twenty-five Step Method to Achieve Perfect Focus in All Your Endeavours' by Lindsay Bamfield

25. Research ideas for new short story.

24. Get side-tracked online by other stuff. Can always include in story.

23. Plan story.

22. Adjust plan to accommodate more research (ongoing).

21. Write story.

20. Read through story. Delete whole story except for first sentence.

19. Re-plan story with spider diagrams.

18. See absolutely massive spider on wall above desk. Detain and evacuate it into next door’s garden. Cross out spider diagrams and toss the paper in recycling. 

17. Tweet about huge spiders.

16. Research online about spiders.

15. Endeavour to ignore spider induced trauma (made self sound very blasé and brave about spiders
in tweet.)

14. Write more and include spiders in story. Story now about spiders.

13. Coffee and snacks.

12. Re-read story.

11. Edit story. Delete the first sentence.

10. Put story aside. Read books, drink more coffee. Catch up with online news. None of it good anywhere in world. Two Australian spider stories: an enormous huntsman spider eating a possum (holy crap!) and someone being bitten by a red-back. Person lives two miles from me. Check house thoroughly for spiders in case redback’s friends or family visiting my house.

9. Read story aloud.

8. Edit a lot more. Pleased with result. Terrifying spider scare serendipity as inspired better writing.

7. Ready to submit.

6. Tweet about submission: ‘a little something from a moment of inspiration.’ Omit mention that have been working on story all day and have forgotten to go to supermarket. No food in house. Order takeaway. Also forgot to do washing so have run out of clean pants.

5. Cross fingers. (About editor liking story, not pants status.)

4. Wiggle fingers because crossed too hard. Think about deleting tweet and not submitting.

3. Prepare tweet (in case story is accepted) that story written after inspiration from a spider just like Robert the Bruce (who came up in online research.) Except of course not a king of Scotland or of anywhere else and haven’t won any battles (except the spider one.)

2. Delete tweet.

1. Prepare modest tweet. Delete modest tweet. Decide story is rubbish. Submit.