This piece is part of our 2023 Community Writing Series showcasing new writing by the Wandsworth Carers Centre Writers Group, in observance of Carers Rights Day 2023. You can read more about the background to this project in our introduction to this series, find out more about Wandsworth Carers Centre on their website, and find them on Twitter @CarerWandeworth.
Extract from Just
another life
by Meliha
Upon our return, my aunt questioned me about how Harris proposed. She was shocked to discover I accepted it with ‘okay’. She argued that a marriage proposal cannot be accepted with ‘okay’. I argued that it could, since I managed it. She explained what she meant at great length. I listened. We went to bed.
The next day my aunt was back at work, so I was on my own again. I remember lying on the bed, staring at my ring, smiling to myself when the thought of my mother shook every nerve in my body. I have no idea where all those tears came from, but they gushed out in great numbers. I couldn’t even stop them. I got up, got dressed and made my way to the graveyard. The sun was out, I had my sunglasses on, and every so often I had to rub a tear from my cheek.
I arrived to the great big field of gravestones and had no idea where to begin to look for one with Indira Behar on it. I must have felt considerable pain at the time, although I don’t remember that I cried anymore. I remember wondering about the grave yard, passing by stones that seemed too old to be done at the time of my mother, looking to my left and my right; turning back, stretching my sight as far ahead as I could. I wandered about the field of graves for a long time; I remember the sun was fresh on my face on my way to the graveyard, and it was sharp on my back as I walked away from the graveyard. I don’t remember that I thought about anything as I walked towards River.
As I caught sight of River I noticed Benjamin talking to two men and pointing to the window of the café. I was no more than a few meters away from them when the two men departed and Benjamin turned in my direction with a smile on his face.
Benjamin: “Good morning Mrs Stone.”
Me: “Hey.”
Benjamin: “Is everything alright?”
Me: “Err… I think I need coffee.”
Benjamin: “You’ve come to the right place. Come on in.”
Me: “Thanks.”
I took my usual seat by the bar, and Benjamin resumed his position behind the bar. It was cool and shaded inside River. No one else was there; all the other customers sat outside in the garden, by the river.
Benjamin: “Where have you been all morning?” I didn’t respond. “Harris has been trying to contact you. He’s phoned here at least three times.”
Me: “I should phone him.”
Benjamin passed me the phone without a word, I lifted the receiver to my ear and as I was about to dial I realised I don’t know his number. I closed my eyes and returned the receiver back on the phone.
Me: “I’ll call him later.”
Benjamin: “May. What’s wrong? Have you changed your mind about the engagement?”
Me: “No, no; that’s fine. I’m fine.”
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